Tuesday 17 February 2009

Nancy 200502.6

460 Grayson Perry's Dcoumentary on Cross-dressing


(Curtsey)
Dear Madam Rebecca, Mistresses and sissies,

A programme is being broadcast in the UK purporting to be a sensitive look at transvestitism. It's on Channel 4 on Wednesday 16th February, 2005 a

t 9pm GMT.
The accompanying photo in The Radio Times (despite its name, it's primarily a television guide!) shows what can only be described as a sissy dressed as a little girl with a matching dolly who looks like she'd be a real asset to the group, given the picture seems to be have been taken in public. Unfortunately, I've been unable to find the photograph on either Channel 4's or The Radio Times' websites.

Set your video recorders!

Love,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)

Here ya go. :)

"Why Men Wear Frocks"
Feb. 16, @ 9pm, Ch. 4, UK
From The Radio Times site

"Turner prize winner and cross-dresser Grayson Perry explores transvestitism and makes distinctions between being a transvestite, being a drag queen, being gay and dressing up on a stag night. Perry asserts that if cross-dressing is a flight from masculinity, then masculinity must be attended to, and he investigates the difficulty of being a man."

from: http://www.twofour.co.uk/broadcast/news_item.asp?newsID=169

TURNER PRIZE WINNING GRAYSON PERRY ASKS WHY STRAIGHT MEN WEAR FROCKS IN DOC FOR CHANNEL 4

Grayson Perry, happily married 44-year old cross-dressing potter and Turner Prize winner, is to make a film for Channel 4 about what it feels like to be a transvestite.

In the fine art world, Grayson Perry has two unique selling points. One is his expressive pottery and the other is Claire. His transvestite alter ego is a regular feature throughout his work.
Why Men Wear Frocks with Grayson Perry is commissioned by Jan Younghusband, the head of arts at Channel 4. “Grayson is planning to take an intelligent and witty look at contemporary attitudes to masculinity,” she says.

In the film Grayson asks other people from the transgender community to explore why they want to dress in women’s clothes. “Cross-dressing is a complicated kind of flight from masculinity and the way it’s policed, so it’s the masculinity we should attend to, not just the cross-dressing. Ultimately, Why Men Wear Frocks is about the difficulty of being a man at this time,” says Grayson Perry.

Wish I could see it, but Canada doesn't have Channel Four. :(
Maybe it'll be rebroadcast here some day,
Beth :)

(Curtsey)
Dear Beth,

Trust me, that's not the photograph that was in The Radio Times!

I'll have to see if I can scan and post it, but the original's only a thumbnail.

Love,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)

(Curtsey)
Dear Beth,

On the other hand, this is!

Love,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)

(Curtsey)

Dear Madam Rebecca, Mistresses and sissies,

Why Do men Wear Frocks?
The programme was broadcast on Wednesday 16th February. It was presented and narrated by Grayson Perry, whose photograph, in different outfits, Beth and I have already posted. Naturally, my video recorder chewed the tape within two seconds, so this is written from memory.
It started at a cross-dressers' convention in Scarborough, North Yorkshire. He spoke to a number of TVs and was honest enough to discuss the sexual aspects of cross-dressing. He also interviewed a Wife and asked Her opinions.
Next, he visited a bikers' rally (he's also a motorcyclist) and made some comparisons with the dressing-up required to participate in the sport and cross-dressing.
An interview with a pre-operative trans-sexual followed, when he was keen to draw distinctions between TVs and TSs. In this he was helped by the TS who was keen to distance him/Herself from males.
He met a group of older teenage boys and they discussed what was acceptable behaviour in a male. Their opinions were surprisingly liberal and mature.
A potted history of cross-dressing followed. Until the mid-nineteenth century, cross-dressing was a female-to-male pastime, mainly due to social conventions which repressed Women. However, from the late eighteenth century, male dress became more and more drab, just as Female dress become more and more Feminine and, as a result, cross-dressing became more of a male pastime until now it is almost exclusively so. This section was illuminated with an interview with a historian whose area of expertise this was and who owned hundreds of period dresses! He also visited the Museum of London and explored their collection of Victorian costumes. These were contrasted with the fashions worn on the street by modern Women.
At a Saville Row tailor he explored the narrow limits of male fashion but spoke with a dandy who did not feel so constrained. It was posited that dandyism presented a more conventional safety valve, so to speak. (I'm not convinced: I'm a dandy, but I simply adore being a sissy!)
The modern Female's freedom of choice was explored at a Bridal store, with a Bride-To-Be and Her Mother agreeing They had no need to dress in a Feminine manner, but it was fun so to do for weddings.
The penultimate interview was at a goth nightclub, where some males were dressing very effeminately. One such described himself not as a cross-dresser but as a pretty boy. It reminded me very much of the New Romantics of the early 1980s and photographs I've seen of regulars at the Blitz Club. Think frilly shirts and make-up; not so much glam-rock as glamorous-rock! (Guess what? I was never a New Romantic but, to this day, that's my music).
Finally, he visited a Lady who ran a TV-dressing service and accompanied Her and some of Her clients to lunch, all en Femme. Unlike the cross-dressers at the convention, whose talent varied enormously, these were all superbly made-up and dressed. Only a close inspection (or a single syllable) would reveal they weren't Female. She mentioned that Her clients were from all walks of life and were often otherwise very 'macho.' Her clients spoke of how it allowed them an escape from their exclusively-male world and made them nicer people. Her reaction to this, I should be so lucky to be able to escape my life, brought vigorous nods of sympathy from my Wife.
Being presented by a transvestite, the programme was sympathetic to cross-dressers, but this was not about Femme Domme, forced Feminization or sissies. Nor did we get to see him in the gorgeous outfit which graced The Radio Times!
Love,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)
Was this on in the US? Seems like an interesting show. I checked Tivo and could not find it.
Cynthia
(Curtsey)
Dear Cynthia,
No, I'm afraid this was broadcast in the UK on Channel 4. However, I've just realized Channel 4 has a cable/satellite channel called E4 (I think: we're strictly terrestrial) so if you have that in your package you might get to see it. Otherwise, it's just a case of hoping a US broadcaster buys it.
Love,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)
I don’t know if one of these is the photo that you were looking for?
I found them by entering Grayson Perry into the search engine on the BBC homepage (http://www.bbc.co.uk/)
ATB
abbie
(Curtsey)
Dear Abbie,
Thank you!
These weren't the photos I mentioned, which I attached to a previous letter, but they are very good and in a similar vein.
Love,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)

Monday 16 February 2009

Nancy 200502.5

459 Vanilla Sex Poll

Enter your vote today! A new poll has been created for the trainedhusbandshappywives2 group:

Do you still have vanilla sex with your Domme/sissy?

  • What's the point when there are so many bulls around?
  • Not with a chastity device on 24/7.
  • No, kinda hard once you've been seen in heels and a dress.
  • It has decreased over time with the help of more training and discipline.Yes, I am more of a scener, and not really a 24/7 type.

To vote, please visit the following web page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/trainedhusbandshappywives2/surveys?id=11977215


Note: Please do not reply to this message. Poll votes are not collected via email. To vote, you must go to the Yahoo! Groups web site listed above.

Thanks!

This is an excellent example of why I think almost all of these polls should have an option for "other." I don't have a Domme or dom, and have not had sex with another person in eleven years.

Hugs,
Jeanette

(Curtsey)
Dear Jeanette,

I agree.

How about this:
I am the sissy. My wife loves me dearly and helps the sissy me because of the pleasure I derive from it. It does nothing sexual for Her. We both take our wedding vows seriously, so making a cuckold of me is not an option. Nevertheless, my wife is a normal red-blooded Female who enjoys penile penetration of Her vagina. She has tried toys, but She doesn't derive the same pleasure from them. (I believe Sissie has also written how she notices a real difference between strap-on penetration and being fucked by a male). So, unless my Wife is to live a life of chastity as a result of a choice I've made, vanilla it is. Besides, it's very enjoyable.

Love,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)

Dear Cissy Pansy,
I am in a similar situation as you in that I too am the "sissy" in a married monogamous relationship with a most adorable Woman whom I am fortunate enough to call my Wife. She actually "enjoys" my Girlishness and encourages me to explore more and more of my inherent Femininity. She is "somewhat" bi and so this is NOT a major step for Her and rather enjoyable. I am certainly a VERY LUCKY SISSY in that I LIVE the life so many of us want. We do use toys on occasion but like your Wife, She enjoys penetration with me also. We have recently discovered that we can attain orgasm while rubbing our crotches together without me having a hard on. It's really quite amazing that I can have an orgasm WITHOUT being erect and that it is so intensely satisfying. I am learning to cum as a woman and it gives BOTH of us a lot of pleasure. We sound very similar in our relationships and I do so enjoy talking to others that LIVE our lifestyle, so PLEASE feel free to contact me at any time and talk about the loves of our lives.
Cindy

(Curtsey)
Dear Cindy,

Please accept my apologies for taking so long to write back.

I'd love to chat, but I'd prefer to do it through the group. I suspect a lot of members would like to read what we might have to say (though I'm not claiming that anyone would learn everything: it's just how I feel when members take chats off-line!)

I'd love to know how you manage to climax in this manner. My Wife adores being teased by me rubbing my little wiggle along Her lips, but I need to be stiff for it to work. Whereas I have climaxed without my little wiggle being stiff, it's always been as the result of masturbation (and often very unsatisfactory). In order to climax, my Wife always needs to play with Herself. Though She can cum without having me inside Her, She does prefer penetration, even if it's right at the last minute.

My Wife is not at all Lesbian and although She's not at all offended by Lesbians as People, She finds the idea of Lesbianism a turn-off. For this reason, my sissiness is not a turn-on either. Also, She does like to pretend to be a little submissive in bed and I have problems maintaining stiffness if She takes the lead (which softness I find so frustrating, as I'm invariably incredibly horny when She does).

I hope you're able to write back.

Love,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)

Dear Cissy Pansy,

I understand how you feel. I am in the "extremely" fortunate position of having a "WIFE" who knows and ENJOYS (same sex play) and as I said encourages me to be so very, very Feminine. We try ALL kinds of games, mostly inspired by me, but nonetheless we play and I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to experience these wonderful feelings. You and I are EXTREMELY fortunate to have met WOMEN that are receptive of our desires and as you, I am highly aware of it. Our lives are quite normal, in most circumstances, but at least we DO have our weekends to explore each others fantasies. I will post only to the group, if you wish, for I have NOTHING to hide, but only pride.

Cindy

The following trainedhusbandshappywives2 poll is now closed. Here are the final results:

POLL QUESTION: Do you still have vanilla sex with your Domme/sissy?

CHOICES AND RESULTS

  • What's the point when there are so many bulls around? 5 votes, 9.62%
  • Not with a chastity device on 24/7, 7 votes, 13.46%
  • No, kinda hard once you've been seen in heels and a dress, 17 votes, 32.69%
  • It has decreased over time with the help of more training and discipline., 11 votes, 21.15%
  • Yes, I am more of a scener, and not really a 24/7 type., 12 votes, 23.08%
For more information about this group, please visithttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/trainedhusbandshappywives2
For help with Yahoo! Groups, please visithttp://help.yahoo.com/help/us/groups/

Nancy 20050210

454 Cissy Pansy 10.02.2005

(Curtsey)
Dear Madam Rebecca, Mistresses and sissies,

Yippee!

My new shoes have arrived in time for our holiday next week. (We always take the week of St Valentine's Day). I collected them from the Post Office this morning and couldn't wait to get home and try them on this evening. Mistress lent me a pair of pop socks and both pairs of shoes fit!

The Ally pair is slip-on in style and has a low heel but Mistress says they're perfectly suitable for public wear. The Sunshine pair resemble Mary Janes but with a wide T-bar. Mistress has even given me permission to wear them as sandals with shorts in the Summer!

They weren't cheap but they are UK size 9 (USA 11; Europe 43) (which is the largest they make) and I've even bought the Sunshine in extra-wide fitting, though not all styles are available as such. I'm wearing the Ally pair as I write and they're very comfortable - much more so than my Mary Jane's. They also make several pairs of lace-ups which look more masculine (as well as male shoes), so I'll be getting my next pair of 'ordinary' shoes here, too (though that's not likely to be for many years when my existing male shoes wear out and also assuming I'm not much more properly Feminized by then). For anyone who's interested, the address is www.hottershoes.com

May you all be as happy as me!

Love,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)

Nancy 200502.4

449 sissy Demeanour In Public

(Curtsey)
Dear Madam Rebecca, Mistresses and sissies,

When I'm a male, I stride down the street, looking people in the eye. I can't pass as a Female, but I do go out to local shops dressed completely (bar shoes and that's only temporary) en Femme. I am wary of attracting attention to myself in case someone realizes I'm wearing Ladies' clothes, so I don't stand tall and I avoid eye contact: basically, my demeanour is much more submissive, though I'll still look directly at a Shop Assistant. Is this normal? Is it likely to avoid drawing attention to me?

Yours sincerely,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)


Dear Cissy Pansy,

Submission is only part of the proper attitude of a sissy; complete respect and being very polite are others. Yes, it is normal for the clothing to affect the person and this is the major reason I advocate the Feminisation of a male.

Madam Rebecca

Nancy 200502.3

448 Knee Pads


Curtsey)
Dear Madam Rebecca, Mistresses and sissies,

Yesterday I scrubbed the kitchen floor and wiped the dining room floor on my hands and knees, which was quite painful on my knees. Is it acceptable for a sissy Maid to wear knee pads on such occasions?

Yours sincerely,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)

Hi,

I think that sissies should often wear knee pads.

A cd mistress I had, required me to have dainty kneepads with lace or ruffled trim. I had to have them in my purse along with a bib as well, in case I was called upon to service her orally.

Phil Ferris

Dear Cissy Pansy,

The sissy Maid should be equipped to do the job properly. It's not about inflicting pain on a sissy who is serving as a sissy Maid should so if your knees hurt while you were in my service you get the knee pads you deserved. I prefer a sissy Maid to scrub on her knees and not use a mop, by the way.

Madam Rebecca

Hello, Madam Rebecca. :)

Might I enquire as to the preference between the two? I'm guessing that it's a better clean to use the scrub brush instead of the mop?

Unless of course there is another more "sissy" reason you prefer that I'm not aware of.

Be well,
Beth :)

Hounoured Madam Rebecca,

May I put my thinking on this matter into the discussion? There are several advantages for a Maid to scrub a floor on her knees. One; she is a position which shows clearly her inferior status. Two; you can get more pressure with a scrubbing brush and the floor is cleaner. Three; you can get right into the corners. Four; you can see much easier if the floor is clean enough and five; with a suitable sponge or cloth you can almost dry the floor so it can be walked on much sooner. Oh and six; if your Mistress decides you are not working hard enough you are in a convenient position for some correction or encouragement to be adiminstered.

I am right up to date on this matter as I scrubbed Mistress Alexis' kitchen floor this afternoon.

Maid Angela

(Curtsey)
Dear Beth,

Far be it from me to tell you what Madam Rebecca thinks (as I have been told by Her in as many words), but it seems to me that the purpose of scrubbing floors on hands and knees is not to do with efficiency or effectiveness but servitude and submission. I surmise it is precisely because it is less efficient and effective that She prefers it to be done on hands and knees. Besides, it is far more revealing (of panties and stockings and suspenders) for a sissy to be working in this position and this must surely be far more attractive a sight to any Lady Who is aroused by sissies. Madam Rebecca has often written of how the thought of Sissie scrubbing their kitchen floor on her hands and knees while She is enjoying sex with a man greatly enhances Her pleasure. I'm just glad She doesn't require us to use a toothbrush!

Yours sincerely,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)

Thank you, Cissy Pansy, for your input. I wasn't sure if that was a part of it, and didn't want to assume. I would imagine it's both reasons.

Take care,
Beth :)

Deep curtsey to All and chaste kisses to all the other sissy Maids.

Ms. M always requires that all floors etc must be scrubbed on my knees to ensure perfection and to assure my utmost submissiveness. I asked about knee pads once and, to my regret, Ms. M said my skirts were padding enough and that I must accept doing my work without too many modern conveniences such as a mop. They are both too easy and the chore is just not well done.

Deep curtsey,
Ms. M's sissy housemaid Tanya

Scrubbing the floor will get it cleaner than just using a mop but I also like to see a sissy down on his knees scrubbing the floor: it always puts a smile on My face.

Madam Rebecca

Very well said, First, First Maid Angela.

I know you speak with a great deal of experience, I have seen many wonderful photos of you on your hands and knees scrubbing the floor! I have one more reason listed in my answer.

Madam Rebecca

Dear Cissy,

You have mentioned some good points but it is more effective to scrub a floor on your hands and knees. A mop does a fast job while a hand scrubbing does a quality job. Mops tend to leave things along the edges and do not always remove ground in dirt or stains that require elbow grease! I have required a sissy to use a toothbrush now and then but it is for punishment for not doing a good job in the first place. To require a Maid to use a toothbrush all the time just to do it is rather a waste of labour and makes little sense.

Madam Rebecca

And my wife just had new tile floors installed on the hallways and kitchen.

Donna
Deep curtsey

One of Ms. M's innovations to improve cleanliness has been to replace the upright vacuum cleaner with an old style tubular one that uses a hose. To keep me close to my work, the steel tubes are removed and the attachments are connected directly to the hose. I have to kneel to do the chore but I can put more pressure on the rug, and get into the corners better.
She has me use a toothbrush as a punishment for floors also, but sometimes compromises and lets me use a nail brush; a bit faster but just as tedious.

Deep curtsey,
Ms. M's sissy Maid Tanya

Good Afternoon Madam Rebecca,

This is my first time e-mailing so please forgive me if it is not proper. I just wanted to add that if a sissy hurts herself because she is not wearing knee pads then she is of little use to anyone.

There is a saying my Mistress likes to use and it goes "a sick sissy is a burden to her Mistresss." Healthy sissies are also more attentive.

Respectfully yours,
Amber

(Curtsey)
Dear Madam Rebecca, Mistresses and sissies,
The greatest improvement my Wife and I made to the cleanliness of our house was when we bought a Dyson bagless vacuum cleaner. The first time I used it, I left the filters open by mistake and still filled the cylinder and that was just from our living room (approx 12'x10'). I realised my error and re-cleaned the room. I filled the cylinder again. I swear, it cleans the foundations! It's so good, I have to fight my Wife to use it!

Love,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)

(Curtsey)
Dear Madam Rebecca, Mistresses and sissies,

Many thanks to all of you who replied to this letter several weeks ago. I, and my knees especially, am grateful.

The overwhelming consensus seemed to be yes.

However, when I've searched for kneepads on-line I've been unable to find anything suitably sissy. I'm fine if I'm a construction worker or skateboarder, but not if I'm a Maid, Housewife or Cleaner. Could some kind person point me in the right direction and preferably within the UK?

Thank you for your help.

Love,
Nancy
(Curtsey)

Some garden places sell pads for kneeling outside in the garden and since they are made for Ladies they sometimes have Feminine designs, but if they don't you could always paint or colour some sissy designs on them yourself to make them appropriate for a sissy to kneel on.

Jack

Honey,

You should make your own.

Just get some foam rubber and tie it to your knee with a long oblong scarf.

Donna

Go to a garden centre and they should have them for Women.

Madam Rebecca

(Curtsey)
Dear Jack,

What an excellent idea! Thank you.

Love,
Nancy
(Curtsey)

(Curtsey)
Dear Madam Rebecca,

Thank You!

Love,
Nancy
(Curtsey)

(Curtsey)
Dear Donna,

I couldn't bear to treat a scarf in such a cavalier fashion!

Love,
Nancy
(Curtsey)

Baby Girl,

You need a kneeling pad, not knee pads.

You can find some really cute ones at the home gardening shops...

Knee pads will allow you to separate your legs and that makes an unsightly pic from behind.

Little girls should keep their knees together unless otherwise told to do differently...

I hope this suggestion helps you in your search.

All tied up with anticipation,
Annastasiadomme

Nancy 200502.2

447 Teddy Bears
(Curtsey)
Dear Madam Rebecca, Mistresses and sissies,

Madam Rebecca has mentioned several times humiliating Sissie by sending her to bed early in front of guests, but first requiring her to parade herself in her nightie and holding a dolly. On other occasions Sissie has had to play with a dolly in front of guests.

Would a teddy bear be an acceptable alternative? I ask because I routinely sleep with a teddy bear and have done so for over a decade, but it's not a childhood bear.

Yours sincerely,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)

Saturday 7 February 2009

Nancy 200502.1

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Nancy 20050205

445 Cissy Pansy 05.02.2005

(Curtsey)
Dear Madam Rebecca, Mistresses and sissies,

03.02.2005

My new mobile (cell) phone fascia arrived today. It has pink flowers on a blue-white background; very sissy. I changed it for the Tigger cover I'd been using (which I felt was merely childish) before going to work.

04.02.2005

I bought some Nair today and cleaned my legs, buttocks and tummy. A message was posted in this group some time ago to another site with waxing tips and that recommended using an ice pack to prevent problems with trapped hairs. I didn't use ice but I did use cold water. My legs were numb when I finished.

05.02.2005

I woke up this morning to the fabulous feeling of a pair of silky-smooth legs; mine! It was simply sensational. Sissies, if you haven't done your legs you simply must. You have no idea what you're missing!

Normally as I wake up the word panties wanders through my mind and my little wiggle goes all stiff. Today the sensation from my legs did the trick!

I showered and used more Nair to remove a few patches on the back of my legs I'd missed. I also trimmed my pubic hair and Naired my little wiggle and little cherries, too. After a cold water shower they really were very little!

I put on my lingerie and Ladies' trouser suit. My legs looked really good in stockings without all that horrible hair. While Mistress was showering I went across to the local supermarket; about one hundred yards as the sissy minces. I had to wear my brogues again as my Ladies' shoes hadn't arrived. This was the first time I'd been out on my own in daylight dressed en Femme. I was quite nervous and my stance was hunched. The only Person I looked in the eye was the Checkout Operator.

When I got back, Madam had arrived. I started to cook breakfast then, when Mistress came down, I sorted the laundry. Madam came into the kitchen and politely asked me to move so She could pour Herself another cup of tea. I suggested it might be easier if She simply took the tea into the dining room, where She was sitting, so She did.

Mistress said it was the first time She could ever remember Madam following the suggestion of a male without arguing. Madam said She no longer thought of me as a male!

While eating breakfast, Madam remarked that I was far less aggressive since I'd confessed to being a sissy and She thought it was all to do with me being able to be myself. Strangely, my male manager, but not my colleagues, thinks I've recently become more aggressive.

Later, while They were shopping together, Madam told Mistress I'd really come out of my shell since December. The conversation at the table was very Girly and also quite explicit. I felt honoured to be included. Madam Rebecca and Sissie have written of this phenomenon often, where a sissified male is treated as one of the Girls. It was wonderful.

We all went out to Claire's, one of a chain of cheap costume jewellers. Madam said Her trouser suit suited me more than it had done Her in the end, but agreed with Mistress that buttoning it made my padded bra very obvious. Mistress later said She's becoming used to going out with me dressed en Femme.

We spent most of an hour in Claire's and bought a load of stuff, mostly for me, including three pairs of clip-on ear-rings, a 60" strand of pink 'pearls,' which goes round my neck three times, and some matching bracelets. Mistress also bought me a pink cosmetics bag with a picture of three Ballerinas bending over and showing Their panties, which have been coloured sparkly pink. I thought it would be an acceptable alternative to Maids. Mistress bought Herself a new anklet, as the old one is too loose now She's lost weight, and She's given me the old one. I'm wearing it as I write this at work, but under my sock, I'm afraid.

I went home, dressed as a Maid and cleaned the house, including scrubbing the kitchen floor on hands and knees. Mistress and Madam went shopping in the city.

Madam bought virtually a whole new wardrobe for almost nothing and I was a very lucky sissy, too. A leotard pattern had arrived recently and They bought some material - black with a gold cross-hatched pattern. It's too fancy for me to wear out (at this stage, at least), but it'll be very pretty. Mistress also bought me a pair of bright pink mule slippers and a pair of yellow short-panties - the first time I've been bought a pair of panties.

Just before They came home I changed into my blouse and mini-skirt and did some Secretarial work. Then I had to put on male clothes as we were having guests for dinner.

Love,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)

Nancy 20050201

440 Cissy Pansy 01.02.2005

(Curtsey)
Dear Madam Rebecca, Mistresses and sissies,

I've been making a few minor changes to my appearance. I've removed some of the hair on my legs (up to just above sock level) and it feels weird as I have a narrow band of naked flesh. It looks weird, too. The coolness reminds me to keep my trouser legs down, though!

I'm wearing Lipsalve all the time and yes, I do fix it while looking in the mirror in the gents and in the rear view mirror in my car. I don't have a compact. No, I haven't been discovered, yet.

I'm gradually removing my sideburns. They've never been very long (I'm rooted in the early '80s) and were unfashionably short but now they're almost non-existent and getting shorter. No-one's noticed.

I'm plucking my eyebrows. They were very shaggy until my hairdresser trimmed them a few months ago: now they're just thick. I'm removing a few every day and even I haven't noticed!

I'm wearing clear nail varnish on my fingernails (and my toenails are still bright red, but so what?) The fingernails were first noticed by a male colleague (the most homophobic person I know, to boot) a week ago and he mentions it most days - and isn't keeping it to himself either. It was all round the males in the staff room at lunch today. Am I still wearing it? Yes. Am I sticking to my story that they're brittle and it's 'Hard As Nails'? You bet!

I ordered two pairs of Ladies' shoes yesterday from Hotter, http://www.hottershoes.com/, as they say they're wide fitting. I want to be able to wear them outside, so they're not overly Feminine. I've ordered 'Ally' in navy. They have a noticeable wedge heel, though they're still low heel, are slip-on in style and are fairly plain. The 'Sunshine' pair is similar to Mary Janes with a thick T-bar and Velcro fastening. I've ordered them in black. They'll take up to ten days to come. I can't wait!

I also bought a digital camera - a Jessop's Funcam - for just £20. I'll try and persuade Mistress to take some pictures of me this weekend and then I'll post them.

Yours sincerely,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)

PS (Curtsey) I've just answered the phone to Madam. I've always liked Her but it's amazing how much more easy it is to talk to Her now that She knows about the sissy in me and we can talk about Girly things. (Curtsey)

Nancy 20050130

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Nancy 20050122

438 Cissy Pansy 22.01.2005


(Curtsey)
Dear Madam Rebecca, Mistresses and sissies,

Mistress got angry and upset with me last night.

She'd been given a load of new clothes by Madam, as they no longer fitted Her. Hopefully they won't fit Mistress for very long either.

I arrived home late from work (as is normal) and we decided to make tea, which I cooked, then Mistress would give me a fashion show. When we'd finished eating, Mistress continued to watch TV.

After a while, I went and washed the dishes and prepared the food for the following day. Mistress went upstairs and started trying on the clothes. She came down to ask my opinion about an outfit to find me using my Psion pocket computer, although I was only doing so while waiting for some eggs to boil. Nevertheless, this upset Her.

We went upstairs and Mistress modelled the clothes. I tried on those She didn't want and kept most of them. The others just didn't suit me. I hung up my new clothes and helped Mistress tidy up. When She was very nearly finished I asked for, and was granted, permission to go online. I was downloading some pictures from ThHW2 when She came in the room. I'm always embarrassed when She sees my viewing preferences and I minimised the screen. That was a bad move.

Mistress became quite upset and, in bed, said She felt like She'd been used, though not in a bad way. I felt awful. I said I couldn't see how me using Her could be anything other than bad. She asked if I was writing about Her in my letters. I panicked and lied. I said no.


I felt awful. I keep forgetting how much Her approval and happiness mean to me. I fully expected to have to leave the group and mentally composed my letter of apology and resignation.

Mistress was fine in the morning and again when I spoke to Her at work. She could tell I was really worried and said everything was fine, but we'd talk when She got in. Mistress had a night out with Her colleagues so I had the house to myself. I checked there was nothing She wanted me to do and asked for, and was granted, permission to go online.

On the way home I went to ASDA (part of Wal-Mart) and bought a white blouse for just £3.50. I dressed in black lace-top hold-up stockings, the navy Girl's PE knickers I'd worn to work, an Après Noir bra, a short lacy slip, the new blouse, my miniskirt and Mary Janes. I looked like a tarty secretary.

I was dressed when Mistress came in. After a cuddle, we sat down, She on the sofa and me on an upright chair. I crossed my ankles, tucked my feet under my seat, folded my hands in my lap and confessed. Mistress said She felt flattered and realized I had to write about events as they happened, but She felt ignored. I had to be less blinkered when writing and pay attention to Her. She was disappointed I'd gone into Maid mode (Her words!) shortly before Her programme had ended and She'd had to try on the clothes twice; once for Her benefit then again for mine.


I apologised sincerely and thanked Her for permission to continue writing. I then looked a bit embarrassed and made a request. I explained that I thought She did a far better job of managing Her current (cheque) account than I did of mine and asked Her to manage my account and just give me pocket money. I'd use my credit card only for petrol (gas) (I commute 400 miles per week) but I asked Her to control that, too. In fact, the only bit of our finances I'll control in future is our bills account. (In the UK, most household bills are paid by direct debit, whereby the invoicing company takes a (fixed) amount from the customer's bank account every month. There's no need to pay bills). All I need to do is update the bills spreadsheet (I do all the filing anyway) and make sure the monthly transfer is sufficient. That takes a couple of hours once a year and doesn't really involve me in spending money: the bills have to be paid. Mistress kindly agreed. This was particularly embarrassing because I work in finance.

Mistress also asked why I'd stood in the corner on Sunday evening. I took my courage in my hands and explained to Her about the group, Madam Rebecca and Sissie and some of Madam Rebecca's training methods, including corner time and cuckolding. To the latter Her response was, "What a waste of time all that training would be! Just get one man and train him to do it the way You like!"

Tuesday ended much more happily than Monday.

Yours sincerely,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)

PS (Curtsey) Please accept my apologies for posting this out of sequence. I wrote it on my Psion then forgot to send it to the group. (Curtsey)

Nancy 20050129B

436 Cissy Pansy 29.01.2005 B Shame And Apology
(Curtsey)
Dear Madam Rebecca, Mistresses and sissies,

When writing letters to this group I have tried to take Auburn's honesty as my model. With this in mind, I must relate what came to pass late on the evening of Saturday, 29th January.
My Mistress and I were sitting eating a meal I'd cooked and enjoying a bottle of wine. The feelings I experienced are starting to fade now, so I feel the wine must be at least partly responsible for my revelation and subsequent shame.

I commented, and Mistress concurred, how much more submissive, subservient and polite I am when dressed as a Maid. It is my failing that, at present, I am not nearly so well-mannered when dressed in male clothing. It is the clothes which bring about a change in my demeanour. I said, "The clothes maketh the man," and then it occurred to me that I act in this way because I think it is expected of me when dressed as a Female. I expect Females to act in this way and I am trying to emulate Them. in other words, I think of Females as submissive, subservient and polite.

I acknowledge that politeness is a virtue but I was appalled to realise that, somewhere deep in my subconscious, I associate Ladies with submissiveness and subservience. I am a scientist and consciously try and rationalise my world and my reaction to it. Though my parents have their prejudices, I have striven to eliminate mine. (Mistress cannot see how my views came to be so different from theirs). I thought I had taught myself better and this was a very uncomfortable piece of self-knowledge.

I am deeply shocked to find I hold, albeit unwittingly, such reprehensible prejudices and I wish to apologise publicly and sincerely to all Ladies. For what it's worth, I am sorry. This is my failing and I am ashamed.

Yours sincerely,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)
Dear Cissy Pansy,

Although no doubt Others will respond to your post, the undersigned unworthy sissy would be inclined to suggest that you have nothing to be ashamed of in your feelings. It is, in my humble opinion, precisely this that makes it necessary for some of us to don Feminine attire and take on the experiences of being submissive and subservient, as well as the experiences of being punished, abused and humiliated: that we recognize that this has been the role that Women have been forced to take on for centuries, and from which They have not yet entirely escaped. Having been raised in a male-dominated culture, of course even the most enlightened of us males still have these ideas about Women. It is yet difficult for me to look upon a Woman, even One of exalted stature and accomplishments, and not think of Her as a sex object, even though I have tried all my life to treat Women with the utmost respect. Therefore, we sissies offer ourselves as a sacrifice; an atonement for our own sins and for the sins of all males. We undertake to experience a bit of what Women have had to endure, and in doing so we both work to correct the internalized vestiges of sexism within ourselves and also gain further respect for Women, Who have somehow managed to accomplish so much while being restricted and repressed at every turn. In corset and heels, I myself have to labour mightily just to keep from falling down or passing out from hypoxia, let alone serve others or work competently, and yet how many Women have excelled in similar circumstances? Therefore, let us continue our worship of Women, knowing we can never be their equals, and knowing that freeing ourselves from the strictures on our minds placed by society must be our life's work, never completed, but always in process and, hopefully, in progress.
So I would humbly suggest that the important thing is not that you had such a feeling, but what you do about it. As a sissy who must undertake to do the best he can without the firsthand assistance of a Mistress, I have made it a practice to constantly make note of my failings in this regard, and to undertake an appropriate punishment at the first opportunity.
In Unity,
Elise Jeanette Lesubbe
(Curtsey)
Dear Elise,

Thank you for your kind words of support.
However, I fear I may be worse than I suspected.
For some time now I have been aware of an adrenalin rush whenever I'm passed in my car by an attractive business Lady in an up-market car. It's worse when there are two of Them!
Today I was editing a message thread I'd copied from ThHW2 in which Auburn was relating the wonderful success of her Wife in Her career, baulked (for the moment) at the last hurdle by the prejudices of others. The same thing happened. I've been unable to identify the emotion and I now think it may be a conflation of two. I know it's nothing to do with the car per se and I certainly don't want to race Them (They'd be speeding in order to overtake me anyway). However, there is certainly an element of wanting to show off in order to attract Her/Their attention and I do believe I am jealous!
The upmarket car signals personal success: many Women with successful husbands let him drive the big car; They drive something smaller; more petite and Feminine. No, these Ladies are good at what THEY do and that explains my wholly inexcusable reaction to the news (albeit old) of Auburn's Wife's success, too. I've admitted that I feel frustrated and undervalued in my career (no, let's be honest; my job: even I can no longer pretend to have a career) although I am very successful, but news of male success doesn't give me the frisson of excitement that Female success does. Instead I feel resentful, angry and depressed.
Perhaps the kindest interpretation that can be given is that I want to be Them; attractive, successful and Female!
I started to write this a few days ago and I've been examining my feelings, reactions and memories quite closely over the intervening time. I had the same response when I saw the scene in one of the Matrix movies when a rubber-clad Domme and Subbe Female Couple walked into a night club. My interpretation was that They were Lesbian.
On further reflection, perhaps I'm just thrilled by the (sexual) authority radiating from a successful Lady Whom I'd love to serve.
Love,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)
Dear Cissy Pansy,
I deliberately waited a day to offer a response to your reply so that I might respond with deep reflection.
The issue you bring up is one that is, in fact, difficult to come to grips with and difficult to write about, because it touches on some very basic spiritual truths, and ultimately there is no way of writing about spiritual truths other than in paradox, which always sounds like a cop-out - a dodge - to someone who has not had the experience of seeing the Truth that is beyond the paradox. And this is a good example of why I so strongly feel that to be a sissy without an awareness of the broader spiritual truth being expressed and the importance of the broader spiritual context for both the individual and the world as a whole is to miss the greater part of the whole experience.
The nub of the issue comes down to the nature of human beings as it comes to spirit: to look at it one way, our highest, purest, most selfless spiritual strivings are wrought through with corruption, ego and selfishness. Perhaps the clearest expression of this can be found in the writings of the monk Thomas Merton who, despite his abstemious lifestyle, was keenly aware of his imperfection and his fallenness. To look at it the other way: the lowest, basest of human desires are expressions of the Highest Perfection and Glory. The universe was made by the Divine Being in its imperfect form because this suited Her Perfect Purpose. For a clear expression of this side of things, Meister Eckhart comes to my mind. But the most important Truth is this: that both of these perspectives are true, but both are false, because both are limited. The Truth includes both those viewpoints, utterly without contradiction. Now I know there is no way to get there logically; one can only attain that perspective by means of spiritually transformative technologies such as meditation.
Now, to apply this philosophical claptrap to the specifics of your experience: Like you, I also experience varying degrees of excitement, sometimes rather intense, when seeing Women of various kinds and sorts. What is this? Is this the male beast in me, lusting after Them, wanting to possess Them sexually? No doubt that part is still there. But the real question, to me, is what do I then do with it? Like the alchemists, whose obsession with turning base metal into gold was often thought to be a pursuit of mere chemistry or nuclear physics, but was actually a spiritual quest, like the good sissy I am, the fantasy I allow myself to indulge in when I find myself being excited by the sight of a Woman is to imagine myself serving Her, most submissively. Turning what may be a base metal into gold, I transform what might start out as a mere lecherous impulse and turn it into an awareness of my true purpose and function, my karma and my dharma, and how I can transform the world around me by doing what I want to most.
As to your being especially excited by seeing a Woman driving an expensive automobile, I too have had similar feelings, and have chided myself at my crass materialism, but upon reflection have come to realize that what I find exciting is that I imagine the Woman is powerful, and I realize that there is nothing wrong with my being excited by a Woman being powerful. And on this planet at this time, Women who are affluent are more likely to wield power than those who do not. Of course, it is good to take the time to remind myself that there are many kinds of power and some Women who have little financial power may possess great personal power and that besides that, all Women are to be respected and revered.
So do these feelings reflect your shortcomings or your strengths? Perhaps it depends on what you do with them. A truly spiritual perspective is one that enables you to take faults and shortcomings and transform them into growth experiences. And there is no doubt in my mind as I read your many posts concerning your struggles with your current transformations of your life and your relationships, you are growing spiritually.
In love and admiration,
Elise
(Curtsey)
Dear Elise,
Once again I thank you for your kind and very thoughtful words. I, too, have delayed my reply while I took the time to try and fully understand what you said. I think I do, but you'll forgive me if I don't try and explain. This letter has been further delayed by problems I've been having with my Psion. I don't get much time on-line or using the PC, so much of what I do is written on a pocket computer. I also prefer to read more detailed letters on it as I've found it to be much closer to the printed word and, therefore, easier to understand. It's psychological, I know, but real enough to me. Anyway, the Psion-PC link has been malfunctioning and I wasn't able to transfer your letter.
I'm afraid my theology/spiritualism isn't up to your standard. When I attended school, Religious Education was compulsory until age 16 (1984), but this amounted to little more than paraphrasing the Bible. At the time, I didn't believe in God, so the lessons were little more than second-rate English comprehension. Only one Teacher seemed to have any enthusiasm and Her year of lessons was easily the best. We asked to be taught comparative religion, but we were told that wasn't allowed!
Consequently, my limited knowledge of other belief systems is restricted to what I've been able to glean in passing.
Your letter contains some sound advice and I will attempt to sublimate my baser feelings. I am materialistic, but not wholly so: I've been able to restrict it to books and stamp collecting and allowing my Wife de facto control of my finances will stop these, too. I'd like to mention that the expensive cars are purely symbolic; a representation of my fantasy projection of Their personalities and lives. I have a strange sense of patriotism and, if I was driving an expensive car, I'd prefer it to be British (which these days restricts my choice to Rover and TVR!) and I really don't want the fashionable executive cars of choice; BMW and Mercedes. I drive a basic 1994 Vauxhall (GM) Astra with nearly 170,000 miles on the clock!
Here's to us all conquering our inner demons.
Love,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)

Nancy 20050129A

435 Cissy Pansy 20050129A

(Curtsey)
Dear Madam Rebecca, Mistresses and sissies,

Today was very topsy-turvy.

Mistress and I got up late full of good intentions to clean the house and go out to buy some Ladies' shoes for me. In preparation for this, I'd used Veet (= Immac = Nair) on my feet legs up to about my sock line: Mistress won't allow me to go all the way. For the first time I painted my toenails, bright red, and re-varnished my fingernails in a clear lacquer. Mistress said I was a tart and advised me not to use colour on my toenails in Summer if I wanted to wear my sandals as my toenails would be no better than pink. I suggested I might be able to use a paler colour or clear but She didn't look impressed.

I washed Mistress's hair, shaved under my arms and dressed in my Maid's uniform. As we'd be going out, I added a panty-girdle between my silk panties and frilly uniform knickers to ensure I'd stay properly tucked and give me a smooth knicker line at the front under the Ladies' slacks I'd be wearing.

Mistress sat on the bed looking disconsolate. She couldn't decide what to wear. I started trying to get into my Maid persona and began addressing Her as Mistress and making suggestions. Mistress just looked more unhappy.

Eventually She dressed as I'd suggested and we stripped and made the bed. We went downstairs for breakfast. Mistress was looking very upset. She sat down and began to cry. I asked what was wrong and She said, "Nothing. Everything's fine."

I asked if She was upset by my clothes and She said, "No. Nothing's wrong," with tears running down Her face.

I knelt at Her feet and persisted, but, as usual, She just kept denying everything. I got up and walked to the door to change.

"No, don't!" She said.

I became impertinent and explained how bad I felt with Her first patently upset then crying but all the while insisting everything was fine. I said I knew what was wrong, that I'd been selfish, I had misjudged Her acceptance and now I wanted to dress as a man. This persuaded Her to communicate.

She WAS upset by my clothes. "When am I going to get my husband back?"

"Right now!" I said without hesitation.

"No!"

I stopped on the way to the door again.

We talked for a long time. She felt deserted. She never knew whether She'd come home to a man or a Woman. Was I going to dress en Femme all the time? She didn't want to stop me completely because She thought that would make me resentful in time. I think She finally revealed Her true feelings.

I offered to never ask to dress again and wait for Her to grant permission. She declined, saying She'd never offer. Instead we'd agree a rota, which has yet to be worked out. I explained I need Her help and support in my sissification, but I needed to know where I stood so I wasn't trying to do something which She was never going to allow, or to which She objected. As an example, I mentioned what had happened when I broached replacing my male underwear with panties and how She had been reluctant to say what She meant. Mistress then said She was fine with me wearing panties, providing I understood the risks (car crashes, etc) and that they don't arouse Her, though some of the plainer panties are fine! I was confused and we agreed to talk again when it's time to replace them.

I re-iterated why I wanted Her to help me manage my money. She was reluctant to take on the extra work so I suggested I transfer to Her all my wages, less the fixed amount needed for bills, and She could pay me pocket money out of that. She was reluctant to leave me without access to money in an emergency but I pointed out I'd still have an overdraft facility and credit card.

In the spirit of the above, I asked whether my intention of buying Ladies' shoes was a waste of Her money. She said it was my money to spend as I wanted and as She would not brook me controlling Her spending, She would not prevent me. I tried again and we discussed, to my amazement, me going out dressed en Femme. This was Mistress's suggestion! She said I'd need much better make-up and wig before I could. I'm not even dreaming of that at the moment! I said the shoes I wanted were, while Feminine, not overly-so and I was hoping to wear them outside with slacks. (Auburn mentioned that's how her Wife started). Mistress confessed to reservations about accompanying me to the shop. It was later than I'd wanted to go anyway (after four o'clock and the shop closes at five) but Mistress did say I could go straight away on my own. I need longer than that to build my courage and I wasn't sure She wasn't just humouring me. I said no and Mistress said I should use mail order instead.

In conclusion, Mistress said it was just events were happening too quickly and She needed time to adjust. We cooked and ate breakfast. I showed Her the credit card bill and explained why I'd spent the money then we started on the housework. I cleaned the bathroom in my panties, panty-girdle and waspie (I was using bleach and I've already ruined two pairs of trousers while cleaning the bathroom: I didn't want to ruin my uniform) with Marigold rubber gloves. Mistress dusted the bedroom then went to watch a television programme. With only half the bathroom done, I went down and cooked our evening meal.

Although I fully-intended to finish the bathroom that evening, I never got near it again. We opened the first bottle of wine since starting the diet and talked for hours, of which more in the B letter.

I explained more about the group to Mistress. I confessed I was undergoing anal training and was greeted by, "Yuck!" I said many Ladies enjoy anal penetration, but males have the additional benefit of prostrate stimulation. I also tried to liken the pleasure I receive from anal penetration to that She receives from vaginal penetration. I didn't convince Her.

In private correspondence, Madam Rebecca had given me a reward. I felt I should ask Mistress's permission before accepting. She expressed Her wish that I should decline, saying, "You're taken!"

Mistress can be quite protective of me.

I knelt in front of Mistress and thanked Her for Her kindness and understanding and said if there was anything I could do for Her that would make Her as happy as She'd made me, then She must tell me.

As I wrote; topsy-turvy.

Yours sincerely,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)

Nancy 200501.5

433 Cissy Pansy’s Second Update

(Curtsey)
Dear Madam Rebecca, Mistresses and sissies,

The events below happened before I spent a weekend as a Maid.

I finally cut my nails the weekend after I visited the Post Office dressed en Femme. By this time I'd been growing them for six weeks. I hadn't shaped them for five weeks but I'll do this more often now as it made them much less obtrusive. The weekend I cut them, I varnished them with two coats of clear lacquer interspersed with coats of finishing gloss so I had a whole weekend to enjoy their smooth, glossy feel. I measured them before I cut them and the white bits were 5mm long (about a fifth of an inch). It doesn't sound much but even I thought they looked like talons and my Wife thinks my nails are long even when I think they're short!

I shaved under my arms on Christmas Eve before we drove down to stay with my Mother-In-Law. My Wife thought I was strange - She heard the buzz of Her Ladyshave. I decided it was time to do them again that weekend. I think I'll need to do it every week.

That weekend my Wife took us to an up-market local restaurant. I'd tried to take Her there for Her birthday in late December but they were closed when we wanted to go. She wanted to have one last hurrah before we started our diet and to show off her new red V-necked jumper, which Her Sister had bought Her for Christmas, together with the red plunge bra She'd just bought to accompany it. I wore plain silk panties and a matching short slip and a lacy silk bra, all in ivory. I offered to wear stockings and suspenders, but my Wife didn't encourage me. In any event, as I have no hips, in order to keep it in place and the stockings up, the suspender belt is very deep and boned - my Wife calls it a waspie - so it does restrict my stomach's ability to expand, thus reducing my appetite and that seemed a bit churlish. ("Thank You for taking me to this lovely restaurant, but I'm not hungry...") I tried on an ivory silk shirt but I needn't have bothered for all it did to hide my bra and slip: it was that obvious. I chose a navy blue silk shirt instead and was very surprised how little showed despite the fine cloth. It would seem I've an alternative to my cord shirts. I'll have to see how it looks with just a bra and no slip. I'd love to be able to go out wearing a bra in the Summer. I also wore a pair of navy trousers with a peached finish. My Wife loves the feel of them. At the last minute I got brave and slipped in my breast enhancers.

We walked the mile or so to the restaurant and enjoyed a lovely meal. I didn't feel at all self-conscious, despite my B cups being filled with my sissy chest fat and tissue and breast enhancers, until I realized I had to visit the bathroom before we walked home. Although the restaurant is upmarket, it's part of a pub located in a part of town which isn't too salubrious. The pub's clientele is a bit rough, the bar was quite full and the toilets were through the bar! I couldn't very well put my coat on so I put back my shoulders, pushed out my chest and politely said, "Excuse me, please," every few feet. No-one noticed.

I recently had a day off work by myself and decided to try an experiment. I'd read Madam Abigail's letter about how She punishes Her sissy and Female Slave by forcing them to orgasm over and over. There have also been several letters, especially from Madam Rebecca and Sissie, allowing frequent sexual release in sissies provided they are properly tucked. I wanted to see if I could combine the two.

In preparation I bought a pair of Ladies' incontinence panties from Boots and an octopus (not what you think!) The panties look like a pair of ordinary full-cut white cotton knickers with lace trim, but they have a wide gusset with a pouch to hold an incontinence pad. The gusset and much of the rear of the panties have a rustle-free waterproof lining.

The octopus is made of pink latex shaped like a figure of eight with one of the circles blind. That is, one of the circles has no hole. A near-silent bullet vibrator is imbedded in that. The other circle is a ring of very stretchy latex which slips over a sissy's little wiggle or even a man's penis with the vibrator against the glans. The vibrator is powered by a unit designed to look like a pager and which clips onto a belt or even a pair of panties. The whole is operated by a remote control which has four speed settings selected by four buttons. It looks just like a car remote control. However, and this is where my plan began to fall apart, the vibrator only works when a button is depressed and stops as soon as the button is released. Not only that, but to prevent accidental operation, such as the button being knocked when in a pocket, there is a 25 second cut out! I couldn't just slip it over my little wiggle, tuck myself, pull up my panties, trigger the vibrator and force myself to endure orgasm after orgasm.

If it had worked, the incontinence panties would have enabled me to use it anywhere without there being any danger of my slimy sperm oozing down my legs in a public place or staining my slacks. In the end I had to use one of my Wife's vibrators, which is not silent and so couldn't be used in public. In my tucked position, I found it most effective to have the vibrator inside my panties and between my bum cheeks. It took a few moments for the vibrator to take effect and my little wiggle didn't get stiff - just a little engorged - but my orgasm was overwhelming and had me wide-eyed and gasping aloud. I think it was the feeling of inevitably and loss of control (it wasn't up to me to thrust or wank (jerk-off)) that was so overpowering. I felt as if I was going to dribble my slimy sperm whether I wanted to or not. And, of course, I dribbled all over my bum.

The incontinence panties did their job and I didn't leak. Unfortunately, the vibrator had no effect after I came and so I switched it off to save the batteries. I used it again, however, a few minutes later and the feeling of helplessness was just as mind-blowing.

We'd got the vibrators out for the first time in years just the previous weekend at my instigation: my Wife isn't a big fan - She says She prefers the real thing. I used the harder pink one over her pussy. It took me a while to find a position She liked but when I did She wouldn't let me move. As She became more excited, I started to use the second softer, black vibrator as a dildo and slowly penetrated Her with it. When She'd finally fully accepted it all, I began to move it in and out, which She really liked. Soon She was enjoying a good, strong climax. I think She felt the same as me in the end; powerless and incapable of resisting Her orgasm. When She'd recovered, She instructed me to penetrate Her and climax as quickly as I could. She enjoyed that, too, but never comes twice.

For me, the best part happened when She went to the bathroom and I was able to lick both vibrators clean of Her cream. Her flavour was exquisite. (My Wife won't allow me to satisfy Her orally as She dislikes tasting Herself when She kisses me). In future I'll date these so they're easier to understand chronologically.

I hope everyone has a totally sissy weekend.

Yours sincerely,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)

Hello, Cissy Pansy.

Might you have any pictures of this device that you used? If not, do you happen to know where it can be purchased on the web? I'm not very clear on what exactly this octopus is, or how it's attached, etc. More information would be very appreciated.

Glad you were able to enjoy an orgasm like that of a female (tucked smooth).

Take care,
Beth :)

(Curtsey)
Dear Beth,

Thank you for asking. I was starting to feel like a Monty Python menu (spam, spam, spam...).
I don't have a picture per se but you could try either of thefollowing links:
http://www.buttontoys.com/index.htmlhttp://www.edirectory.co.uk/sexydirectory/pages/index.asp?cid=1016
You might also try Googling bullet vibrator.

I hope you've had a good weekend.

I'll post more later.

Yours sincerely,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)

Thank you, Cissy Pansy.

Now I fully understand what you were wearing, and made sure to save that site in my Favourites for future use. You say you came while tucked, with ONLY this as stimulation eh?? Hmmm...

Thanks for letting me know,
Beth :)

(Curtsey)
Dear Beth,

I regret my original post was not clear.

Although the octopus is pleasant enough, it only works for as long as the button is depressed on the remote control AND there is an over-ride to prevent it operating for longer than about half a minute! I'm not nearly so excitable that I can come with so little stimulation (and I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad thing).

You describe my plan, but the experiment was a failure as far as the octopus goes. I did come while tucked and the feelings were exquisite, but I used a traditional, hard and certainly not silent vibrator with it tucked between my buttocks and pressed against the underside of the head of my little wiggle.

The only use for the octopus of which I can think is as a paging device for my Wife/Mistress to use in summoning me (it is alleged to have a fair range but, obviously I've been unable to test it myself - my arms aren't that long!) and so far She has refused my offer on the matter! I'm vain enough to imagine Mistresses the world over placing orders as I type and perhaps Madam Rebecca in Her kinkier moments might dispense with Sissie’s bell!

I hope I'm a bit clearer this time.

Yours sincerely,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)

Hi, Cissy Pansy.

Thanks for the info. I now know what you were referring to and maybe Mistress will allow me to use such a device in a similar fashion as you did. I'm sure it must have been a very different experience. The only time I was able to orgasm in the same way I, too, found it very different.

Thanks again,
Beth :)

Nancy 200501.4

427 My Second Day As A sissy Maid

(Curtsey)
Dear Madam Rebecca, Mistresses and sissies,

We got up later this morning (Sunday).

Madam called on the way to the supermarket for milk. She returned my padded soft cup silk bra, whose straps She had been lengthening (at full extension the band had passed under my nipples - just) and brought me a pair of Her old high-leg cami-knickers and a camisole, both in dark blue. I was so pleased and grateful. I rushed to model the cami-knickers over the pair of white cotton panties I was wearing. I was delighted they were long enough in the body. Madam asked me to try on the bra, so I did, with breast enhancers. I modelled it both with the camisole turned down and also underneath it.

After bathing, I dressed in my 'street sissy' clothes as I had done the previous evening, but with male shoes, as Mistress and Madam had been given two bicycles by a work Colleague of Mistress and we had to collect them. I wore the new stockings Mistress had bought me yesterday. Unfortunately, they're neither glossy nor opaque, but they are much longer and more comfortable. I could feel the pull of the taut suspenders on my thighs as I drove. It felt wonderful and sexy. My whole outfit felt comfortable, even though my slacks don't fit as well as they might.

We took the bikes to Madam's, as She has a large and empty garden shed. Madam invited us in for a drink. She showed me Her suspender tights (pantyhose) which I'd ordered for Her on-line earlier in the week. Her diet has worked a treat and She has good legs, even though She's in Her fifties. She showed me Her new bustier, too. She said it was a bit plain. It was plain black, but there's nothing wrong with that and it had a wonderful, pert and natural shape to the cup. I felt privileged to be treated so intimately and doubt I would have been so honoured if Madam had not been aware of my sissy status. I again offered to do any housework that might be required and expressed a preference to be dressed while doing so.

As I drove us back, I mentioned a remark Mistress had made before we left home. She'd expressed a concern that I might embarrass Her. She confirmed that I had not done so and I re-assured Her that I would not. Mistress did not think my dressing in a bra with breast enhancers and slip was appropriate for romantic dinners, but She will allow panties. I mentioned that I wouldn't be offended if She chose to expose me to others, but I'd prefer to be exposed to Ladies and as a matter of common sense She should be fairly sure of Their reaction.

When we returned home we retrieved our wheelie bin (a large, wheeled trash can) from our next door Neighbour. She's a lovely Lady in Her eighties Who was widowed nearly two years ago. She was keen to show off Her new central heating system, which was installed on Tuesday. It's the first time in 81 years She's had a warm house.

I changed into my Maid's uniform as yesterday (I didn't wear the anal training dildo as my bum was still a bit sore) and cooked tea. Mistress helped but said She felt at a loose end. After tea, I left Mistress watching The Return of the King while I did the dishes, hand-washed the silk lingerie, finished the laundry, emptied the rubbish, roasted a chicken for tea on Monday and grilled some sausages ready for breakfast in the morning.

There were frequent calls for assistance from Mistress. I asked Her to show me how to curtsey and feel there was a definite improvement subsequently, but when I checked with Mistress, She said She wasn't paying any attention. I addressed Her respectfully throughout and She became quite dismissive of me, waving me away with a flick of Her wrist when I was no longer required (though She later said this was embarrassment). I offered to buy Her a bell as I think it would be much more audible when She summons me, but She said we already have a china bell. She wouldn't let me get it for Her, though. I asked by what name She'd be addressing me and suggested my sissy name, Cissy. She said, "One step at a time."

She kindly went through a clothing catalogue with me and allowed me to show Her the Ladies' clothes I liked. We have similar tastes, so if we end up the same size we could be sharing a wardrobe!

As I was cooking the sausages I didn't have anything else suitable to be getting on with, so I awarded myself some corner time. It was surprisingly relaxing to be stood there on low heels, in all my lace and frills, facing the corner with my hands folded in my lap. I thought about the jobs I had to do next weekend, but I didn't have a care in the world! It was wonderful and I didn't burn the sausages.

I asked permission to go on-line, but before going upstairs I knelt down in front of Mistress and sincerely thanked Her for allowing me to dress and do the housework and for giving me such a wonderful weekend. I really enjoyed it.

Today (Monday) I've been out in my lunch break to buy a Thank You card for Madam for giving me the lingerie. I chose a flowery one with a lovely verse instead of my usual taste, which would be stylish and no verse. I'll address it to Her as Madam A... and sign it with my sissy name.
I've had one of the best weekends of my life and I hope you all have had, too.

Yours sincerely,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)

Nancy 200501.3

423 My First Day As A Sissy Maid

(Curtsey)
Dear Madam Rebecca, Mistresses and sissies,

I'm nearly finished a busy day's work.

My Wife and Her Sister had a day's shopping planned in the local city, so I asked permission to wear my Maid's outfit and do some housework. My Wife agreed.

After morning ablutions, I put on Fenjal deodorant and body spray then put clear nail varnish on my fingernails. I just love that glossy feeling when I touch them. I dressed in my waspie suspender (garter) belt, black opaque glossy stockings, plain silk panties, lacy silk bra and a short silk slip.

My Wife helped fasten my rear suspender clips and remarked how short were my stockings. I then put on my black French Maid's dress. It is very short (the skirt itself is jut nine inches with a two inch frill of lace) and quite deliberately so. I added a pair of heavily frilled silky white tennis panties and a short black netting petticoat. My dress looked so much better with the skirts properly filled. I tied on my tiny little tea apron, buckled my T-bar Mary Janes and I was done.

I went downstairs and made breakfast, asking my Wife to fry the eggs (She's much better at this than me) when everything else was just about done. After breakfast I sorted the laundry, which is when my Sister-In-Law arrived. I hid for a second, just to make sure it was Her, then stood in the dining room doorway and curtsied. Neither my Wife nor Her Sister are particularly into this and They Both had a bit of a giggle. I had a great time, mincing around on my low heels, curtseying at every opportunity and addressing Them very respectfully. Madam Rebecca, I wish You had been there to give me the spanking my no-doubt atrocious and pathetic attempts at curtseying deserved. I am ashamed to admit it's not something I've practised very often. I soon realised I could no longer call Them by Their names, so I opted to address my Wife as Mistress and my Sister-In-Law as Madam. In all this I could feel my little wiggle trying to swell despite its tucking.

I read the list of chores I'd drawn up and Mistress told me my priority was to clean the oven, do the laundry and scrub the kitchen floor. I requested and was granted permission to wash the dishes and wipe the bench tops before starting on the cooker.

Mistress asked me to remind Her what Her shopping list was and I respectfully requested She buy me a pair of longer stockings. I curtsied as they left, hiding behind our front door, which opens almost directly onto the street, which is the first residential street off the main shopping street, so it's quite busy – hence my discretion. Before They left, I asked Them not to laugh at me behind my back, but to my face, if They wanted to laugh at me at all.

Then the fun began. I really enjoyed my work. It was nice just to be able to do something without loads of pressure (I work in sales). I pulled on a pair of yellow rubber gloves (we looked for pink, but our supermarket doesn't stock them) and did the dishes. I decided to remove the gloves at the earliest opportunity after nearly dropping a glass, despite holding it in two hands!
With the dishes done, I nipped upstairs to the bathroom and retrieved my new Crystal Jellies Anal Starter butt plug by Doc Johnson and bought from Bionic Tonic. It's six inches long and quite slim so slid in very easily when properly lubricated. I had to buy a clear model as they were out of stock of the pink one. I'd tried it a few times yesterday, but it had become quite painful after no more than half an hour. With my bum properly filled, I went back to work.
I wiped the benches and started on the cooker. The pain in my bottom started after about half an hour again, but I was determined to push myself a bit further. The work distracted me but after an hour I began to feel a little nauseous, so I took a toilet break. In the past, that would have been the end of my experiment, but I decided to re-insert the silicone penis. In the end I wore it from two o'clock in the evening until eight. It was painful at times, but moving around seemed to help and most of the time I forgot it was there.

I phoned Mistress and asked Her to let me know when She and Madam were returning so I could have a pot of tea ready for Them, then got on with the cooker. I spent nearly five hours on it and virtually dismantled it. It's still not perfect, but it's very nearly so.

Mistress phoned just as I sat down after six hours non-stop. She told me not to bother starting to wash the kitchen floor, but I did sweep it on my hands and knees with a pan and brush. I didn't dare start to hand wash the silks as the wire wool had ripped my nails to shreds. So much for a lovely glossy feel!

I heard Them pull up in Madam's car and opened the front door just as Mistress got there, curtseying as I did so. It was too busy for me to risk going out and helping to unload the parcels, though. Madam was surprised I was still in my uniform.

After I served Them Their tea, I requested permission to change in order to complete my next chore. Mistress enquired to its nature and I said I wanted to take the waste paper for recycling. The recycling bins are in a supermarket car park which we overlook and are about 100 yards away as the crow flies, though a bit further as the sissy minces. Mistress said we'd do it tomorrow, but I requested permission to do it myself today as I wanted to wear my Mary Jane shoes and I only wanted to do that after dark. She graciously acceded to my request.

I removed my dress, tea apron, frilly panties and the netting petticoat and pulled on my Ladies' slacks. They're navy, flat fronted and have a side zip. I slipped on a red chiffon blouse with three-quarter sleeves and a cowl neck then went back downstairs for inspection. Madam said She wanted my blouse, but it's way too big for Her at size 22 – She's down to size 14 now. She also asked about trying on my Maid's dress for Her boyfriend and Mistress told Her I have some nice party dresses, too. However, Madam's had a bad headache all day and decided She didn't want the fuss. It felt strange curtseying without a skirt.

I piled up the waste paper in two plastic boxes on a luggage trolley and set off. It's the first time I've been out with Ladies' shoes on. I also wore Mistress's red fleece, but it was zipped no more than two inches. My blouse was plain to see. I just wanted a slight disguise as I was not wearing a wig or make-up. Having worn my heels in the house, I was quite surprised what a click-clack they made. I was also surprised how busy it was at eight o'clock and the car park is very well lit. I took care to time my walk so as to avoid other people as far as possible, but three cars passed me as I was leaving and I caught up to an elderly couple who kept stopping. I tried to walk as quietly as possible. They took a different turn and I walked past them but he turned and glanced down. I hope he was looking at my luggage trolley!

Upon my return I asked Madam if She'd kindly either alter my dresses (my Maid's dress has always been too big, though it was made to allegedly measure and I do know how to use a tape measure!) or make me new ones. We discussed my appearance. Madam thought I had good legs, though my stockings were short, and a slender figure in my slacks and blouse, but I had no hips. Mistress agreed and said She liked my bum. It was agreed I'll need a corset when we've finished our diet. Madam remarked that Mistress should get out Her whip. Mistress said I wouldn't let Her buy one. I requested permission to speak in my defence and tactfully reminded Mistress that I had suggested She use a cane or tawse instead. (I know these are all instruments of punishment, but in my mind a whip will always be associated with torture and I don't mean sexual). However, upon reflection, I realized I had no right to try and restrict Mistress's freedom of action and, when Madam had gone, showed Her a catalogue I'd just received from the Muir Academy in order to make Her choice. She declined, saying She'd never be able to bring Herself to use it.

Madam finished Her tea and left, but not before I offered to clean Her house whenever She wants. She wouldn't mind me wearing my uniform and Her house is much more secluded than ours.

Mistress and I had a talk. She told me how pleased She was that I was helping a lot more with the housework, but She didn't want me to do it all. (However, it's early days yet). At the moment, She's not too comfortable with me addressing Her as Mistress, either. I requested that She take charge more often. I explained that it was much easier for me to serve and obey Her when I was properly dressed as a sissy and I enjoyed doing as I was told. Nor is She too sure about that. I suppose I'll have to earn Her trust by immediately obeying Her every remark. It's my own fault for trying to be a male all these years.

Mistress told me I needed hair to pass as a Woman and I requested permission to buy a better wig than the very cheap one I now have. I'm not sure She'll be more comfortable with me as a sissy in Women's clothes or a sissy trying to pass. I asked if She'd help me with make-up and She readily agreed, so long as I didn't expect sex, because my dressing does not arouse Her. I mentioned we make love before we rise anyway.

I've taken far too long writing this and I don't have time to change back into my Maid's uniform or hand wash the lingerie before I cook tea. Mistress wants to try spaghetti Bolognese with cabbage instead of spaghetti (we're on the Atkins diet). It sounds interesting.

I can't believe how well today's gone.

Yours sincerely,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)