466 Cissy Pansy 15.02.2005
(Curtsey)
Dear Madam Rebecca, Mistresses and sissies,
11.02.2005
My Wife and I went for our weekly shopping. This was my first opportunity to wear my new Ladies' shoes in public. I'm afraid my cowardice surfaced somewhat. I wore the Girl's PE knickers I'd worn to work, a lace slip and flesh pop socks but also a bright blue male cord shirt and petrol blue (blue-green or jade) cord trousers with the navy low heels. We debated whether I should wear black pop socks, but Mistress said the flesh colour made my legs look bare, which I decided was more noticeable, so I kept them.
I've noticed and Mistress agrees that heels make me take smaller and slower steps so we walked round the supermarket quite slowly. The shoes weren't as comfortable today and I had to take them off after two or three hours, whereupon I found a deep ridge across the top of my feet. Mind, I've never previously worn slip-on shoes.
I depilated all my body, except my arms, in preparation for the week off. I used Nair again, but I used less and it wasn't nearly as successful. Mistress says it works better with more re-growth. I was more successful with my pubic hair, but it still wasn't totally smooth and clean and I nearly burned through my skin in the crease at the top of my inner right thigh. Mistress really doesn't like the feel of my skin as the hair grows back, so it'll be the last time I do this for some time.
12.02.2005
Mistress and I made love this morning. She later said it was just as well, as She's just about to start menstruating. This is now very unpredictable as She uses contraceptive implants. The first set stopped Her cycle completely, but it returned with the second set.
We now never know when Her flow will start or how long it will last. The implants do seem to be synchronized to Christmas, birthdays and holidays, though!
I spent the day as a sissy Secretary, sorting through six months of credit card receipts and statements. I did some housework, though not as much as I should have, and Mistress said the Maid would go on strike over demarcation!
13.02.2005
We spent most of the day taking photographs, which are in the Cissy Pansy folder in ThHW4. I've written a separate letter about them and another about my Aneros prostate stimulator. My wife's cycle will give me a chance to experiment with that, at least.
14.02.2005
I promised Mistress I wouldn't spend all week dressed as a sissy, so I only wore male clothes.
We don't eat out on St Valentine's Day: We get more choice, better service, a less crowded restaurant and lower prices the day before or after. Given that it fell immediately after a weekend this year, we're eating out the day after.
I cooked a nice meal and we watched Love, Actually. I don't know whether it's the best or second best movie of all time but I always laugh and cry all the way through it and I defy anyone to do otherwise. It's in competition with Truly, Madly, Deeply. This is the BBC version of Ghost, but Ghost is a pale shadow of Truly, Madly, Deeply (pun intended). I cry uncontrollably at the end of the latter. I haven't watched it in years, I find it so devastating.
Would anyone else like to nominate some good sissy movies?
I upset Mistress by remarking, under the influence of two glasses of wine, that the day could have been better, as I wore male clothes. I keep forgetting how much this is costing Her. We didn't write our cards until after the meal and She said I couldn't make Her laugh or cry if She didn't love me. I wrote how I loved Her just as She is and apologised deeply for being crass and insensitive.
I came up with a scale for Her involvement with my sissy side:
- Not getting upset
- Acceptance
- Assistance
- Enjoying the benefits, e.g., less housework
- Taking control to gain more benefits
- Punishment of me for my shortcomings
- Enjoyment (including sexually) of my sissiness
In reality we're about one or two at the moment.
We also talked about what I get out of it. Without Her involvement it was pretty much purely masturbatory, but now the sexual side is much less important. It gives me permission to relax, stop competing and relinquish control. Mistress agrees with Madam that I'm a nicer person when dressed. I'm starting to think that I dress when I put on male clothes: the real me is the sissy me.
Love,
Cissy Pansy
(Curtsey)
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