Monday, 28 September 2009

Nancy 20050305

510 Nancy 20050305


Dear Madam Rebecca, Mistresses and sissies,

This week I've done nearly all the cooking as well as washing all the dishes. At one point I had to less-than-tactfully chase my Mistress from the kitchen as She wanted to start helping just as Her favourite television programme was about to begin. In my book, that's tantamount to leaving the table just as the food's put down! I'm the one who's supposed to be making sacrifices! She seemed happy enough five minutes later.


My plan seems to have worked and better than I'd intended.

When Mistress and Madam had the tea party for me so I could wear my yellow party dress, I'd gone to Madam's to collect Her after work. While I was waiting, I washed the dishes and tried to wipe down Her benches, somewhat unsuccessfully as they were covered in grease. I suggested to Mistress that She and Madam might want to visit Their Mother (with Whom I get along very well, incidentally) when Madam next had a weekend off and I'd stay here and clean Madam's kitchen.

Well, the next weekend was this weekend. Madam took a few days holiday and drove down to Burton-on-Trent earlier in the week. Mistress went by train last night, which was my Mother-In-Law's birthday. So They'll be with Her for both Her birthday and Mothering Sunday and I'll be able to visit my Mother tomorrow.

Mistress kindly suggested we go shopping on Thursday night instead of Friday, so last night I was able to get on with housework. I stripped and made our bed, sorted the dirty linen and started the laundry. I emptied our glasses cupboard, cleaned it and washed and dried all eighty glasses. I'd left home before eight in the morning, returned just after seven and it was nearly midnight before I finished. I spent an hour working through e-mail then it was off to a cold bed. I didn't get to sleep 'til gone two and I was up again at half-six.

The only good thing about being here on my own is that I get to eat some things that Mistress doesn't like. I had donner meat last night (I'm on the Atkins diet so I couldn't have the whole kebab) and I've just eaten sirloin steak in a cream and mushroom sauce with prawns. I'm cooking chicken breasts in white wine and garlic olive oil with onion, cheddar and Parmesan cheese for Mistress and Madam when They return tomorrow.

As I'm on my own I had to get the car into our yard by myself. We live in the centre of a party town (we once counted forty pubs (bars) within a mile of where we live and we've got a river less than 400 yards to our North and the North Sea about the same distance due East so they're all in a single quadrant!) and the car tends to get vandalised by drunks returning home if left on the street at weekends. With less than six inches total spare width at the gate, it's awkward, but the time-consuming bit is opening and closing the back gate, which does a good impression of Fort Knox, the response to one burglary and two attempts about twelve years ago. Anyway, I changed into my Femme clothes, including a red chiffon blouse with three-quarter sleeves and a scoop neck, before opening the gate. I got brave and even ventured into the back lane to move an abandoned wheelie-bin (the lane's barely as wide as my car is long (and I don't have a long car) so obstructions are to be avoided) and fully intended to get into the car, which was parked on the front street, dressed as I was, but a taxi was parked twenty yards behind with its headlights on. If you know your Douglas Adams you'll be familiar with the Daring, the Audacious and the Suicidal Insanity. I decided the trip into the lane had been daring, walking to the car seemed audacious, but in headlights...

When I got up this morning I transferred last night's washing into the tumble-drier and put another load into the washing machine then set my Psion to be restored before getting washed. It's the second time it's crashed this week: it just won't start until I re-set the factory settings and then restore the memory from our PC. Of course, I'm never near the PC when it goes down. Does anyone have any suggestions?

I cooked breakfast (Cumberland sausages, fried eggs and bacon with a pot of Old Sibolga (a truly excellent Indonesian coffee; strong but not at all bitter) and double cream: it's more allowable than milk!), sorted the last washing load then organised myself for the trip to Madam's. I went to the local supermarket in my panties, panty-girdle, waspie, stockings, bra, slip, blouse, slacks and low heels (plus a fleece and hat; Winter's into its second week) and fought my way through the scrum to the flowers to buy a bunch for Madam as a thank You for Her letting me clean Her house. (I sent a bunch to Mistress at work on Monday. She's the envy of Her colleagues as it's the second bouquet at work this year. Opinion's divided as to whether we're at it like rabbits all weekend or I'm living in the dog-house. Some people have no romance).

I loaded the car according to my list and drove to Madam's where I changed into my flat shoes (if the furrows in my feet from my low-heels get any more agricultural I'm going to start sowing crops) and my Maid's uniform. Madam had finished altering my new leotard and I tried that on, too. The fit's much better, but it squashes my breast enhancers. On the other hand, there's no hiding them, either! I realised I'd forgotten my net underskirt (the one in the dress isn't really enough on its own) and my PVC apron, so I had to make do with my frilly little tea apron. I didn't wear my beloved silk lingerie as I've realised that many of my coloured outer clothes leach colour and it takes many washes to get the colour out of ivory silk. The culprits include the red blouse and my Maid's uniform. So much for dye technology: this was supposed to be sorted in the nineteenth century.

The flowers went into the vase of Mistress's I'd brought, which was just as well as I couldn't find one at Madam's, and I started cleaning at half-twelve. I spent over six hours cleaning the outside of the cupboard doors, the hob, benches and the outside of the oven. It's a small kitchen and I didn't hang around.

I ran a bowlful of hot water and added Flash. I soaked the cloth (a scrubber for use on Teflon-coated pans) then added neat Flash to the cloth. The result was indifferent, so I switched to a harder scrubber with Amway's Liquid Organic Cleaner (LOC) - neat (it's normally used in 0.5% vol/vol solution (5ml per litre = 1000ml)). The results were better, but not good. I ended up washing everything in neat Flash, going over it with neat LOC, repeating both steps then rinsing with a damp cloth. Well, it's clean, but not perfect and I haven't even started on the inside of the cupboards.

At this point, about seven o'clock, I was beginning to doubt my sanity, but I rattled through the bathroom and vacuumed the entire house all in the next hour and a half. I've since spoken to Mistress and told Her I'll need to go back to finish another weekend. I can't do it tomorrow as I'm visiting my Mother in the morning and then Mistress has told me I have to do some studying for a professional qualification I need.

While I was working, I was listening to files from on my iPod, but so quietly I couldn't really here them. I hope they work subliminally! Has anyone had any success with these files or should I just listen to ?

Besides the bouquet, I left a Thank You card. I wrote, "Dear Madam A---,

Many thanks for allowing me to clean Your lovely home: it was a pleasure.

Thank You also for my lovely leotard. It fits really well.




I've got a Thank You card for Mistress, too. Between the flowers and cards, that's my pocket money for the week spent!

I'll be wearing my male disguise when I go to see my Mother tomorrow. My family doesn't react well to good news (my promotion to manager resulted in my Mother accusing me of graft and corruption, which took the shine off things a little) never mind what they'd see as a perversion.

Madam Rebecca, if You've got this far first, thank You and second, I seem to remember reading Your standard for promotion to Maid, which was, I believe, for the sissy to clean house for two Ladies, in addition to cleaning for his Mistress. I'm cleaning for my Mistress and Madam, so that leaves one more. When I was seventeen, my Mother wasn't well and I used to leave school during my study periods in order to do the housework (mostly dusting, polishing and washing dishes) every day. Does this qualify as my second house, or should I duck?

It's now nearly midnight and, although I'm physically shattered, I'm nowhere near as mentally tired as I get after a day in the office. Weird.

Good night!




20050305 State-sponsored Mistress

509 State-Sponsored Mistress

Dear Madam Rebecca,

You said, "you notice I don't ask for government subsidies to train males into useful people: I take the responsibility and do it Myself." What if such employment were available?

I respectfully ask You to spend ten minutes of Your time listening to the programme at the end of this link (You'll need to fast forward through the first nineteen minutes):
Now, reverse the roles, make some judicious alterations to Your official work rota, convince the Swiss that Montana is a canton (with a name like Montana You must have the right topography there!) and voilá; a state-sponsored Mistress!

Sorry, but I couldn't resist that one!



Dear Nancy,

Sorry, but I would not participate in a state-sponsored anything.

Big Brother does not know what is best for us; he only knows what is best for him. No program is perfect and under any system some get left out in some way. But I believe in power to the people and not in taking care of the people.

Montana was named so because of its mountains but we also have what are called High Plains. The lowest point in Montana is 1,800 feet and the highest is over 14,000 feet. We have mountains here where it is 100 miles between roads; temperatures that have reached as low as -76°F and I have seen them as high as 110°F so it is a state of extremes and I guess I am one of them. But I am a self-sufficient person and so are most others in this state.

I live here because of the freedoms it affords. This was the only state to have no daytime speed limit until the highway patrol discovered they were losing money. Funny thing, though, they cited safety, but what’s even funnier - or sadder really - is that the death toll went down when the speed limit went off and it went back up when they put it back on. Why? Because as I said it was a no daytime speed limit. People drove more in the day time than at night, not near the drunks and not near the black bulls standing in the middle of the road. If you hit a slow moving drunk or a 2,200 pound black bull at 95mph then you have a problem so for our safety, big brother protected us and killed more people and took away a freedom. It's a bad idea to get me started down this road. I could become the picture book Mistress with a big whip if I was a state-sponsored Mistress and the House and the Senate would be really sore for a while!

Madam Rebecca

Dear Madam Rebecca,

I think the clip makes Your point. If it hadn't been broadcast on the BBC, I wouldn't have believed it. As it was, I checked the date (even the BBC isn't immune to April 1st. There was an infamous item on Italy's starving farmers following a failure of the spaghetti harvest).

I had a customer who ran a cleaning company in Zurich and now I know why he was so well-off. He bemoaned the state of their economy. Their roads were clogged with juggernauts pounding from one part of the EU to another, filled with goods destined for shops, none of which were ever available inside Switzerland. I used to characterize the town in which I worked at the time as, "It used to be a one-horse town, but the horse died." Nevertheless, to him the local supermarket was a shopping paradise.

I can imagine You sitting shaking Your head in despair as You sat listening. I know I did!

It's Mothering Sunday here in the UK. I don't know if You have anything similar in the US, but I'd like to wish You and all the other Ladies in the group, and especially the Mothers, a great day. May Your families shower You with the love and respect You deserve.



Dear Madam Rebecca,

There's not much in the UK that's over 1800' and it's such a small and crowded group of islands the roads are never a hundred miles apart, though there are places where one can walk all day without seeing another person. The closest area to me like that is the Northumbrian hills, about an hour's drive away. We're not much ones for temperature extremes either, though I think somewhere broke through 100?F last year. More worryingly, Winter seems to have been abolished. We haven't had a cold one in years and my Wife's rose bushes have been in leaf since January, having last flowered in November.

However, Blake knew whereof he spoke when he wrote of, "England's green and pleasant land." It really is a stunning sight when one is coming in to land at a British airport after a fortnight in the Mediterranean. The country's just so green.

Our roads are simultaneously the most crowded and safest in Europe. The latter isn't hard when one considers that driving's a contact sport in Italy, for example! (I once saw three drivers reversing on autostrada within the space of a mile). As for the congestion, that's only too easy to believe. Speed limits seem to be 1mph more than the slowest articulated lorry. (Sorry: rant imminent!) I do know a policeman who totalled a cow at 60mph on a country lane. Totally totalled.

I see Lewis and Clark passed through Great Falls. I looked it up in my copy of their journals hoping to find something interesting - a description, perhaps - but it was all about the people they met and not much of that, either. They were great explorers, but I think their true spirit of adventure lay in their approach to spelling. I was surprised to see how close You are to Canada. My geographical knowledge of North America is appalling: we were always doing volcanoes and Europe - I could have written an amazing essay on the bistros of the fishing ports of Northern France when I was sixteen (not that it was easy to distract the geography teacher!)

Have fun!



Dear Nancy,

Thank you and yes we have one called Mothers Day here later in the year.

Madam Rebecca

Dear Nancy,

We are getting way off topic here but you pique my interest. As I have never been to England I can not comment much about your island nation, but some day I plan to get there as I am fascinated by history; real history, not the 8th grade stuff.

Lewis and Clark stand out in history as great explorers because of what they accomplished. England had some great explorers as well: one group, the name escapes me, tried Africa, but most were killed if I remember and then there was the man who went to Antarctica and lost his ship and his name escapes me right now as well but a very honourable man when his men were concerned. Australia had a similar group that did not make it and McKenzie went across Canada before Lewis and Clark did. But what makes L & C stand out is that they documented everything; collected everything. Lost one man, Sergeant Floyd, to appendicitis, named many of our Western rivers whose names still stand. In the Great Falls area alone they named the Marias River and Smith River; they gave it the name of the Great Falls and described the area very well.

There have been many books written about these famous explorers but there is only one set that is accurate and that is the 12 volume set edited by Gary E. Moulton, University of Nebraska Press. It is an expensive set of journals and one must truly love this kind of history to justify them for their collection. These journals are transcribed from the hand written notes of the explorers and several of the sergeants in the group. They are very redundant, but give slightly different views of the same experience.

There are a few other interesting issues that these explorers were the first to do. It was the first time a Woman (also an Indian) and a black were permitted to vote! It was probably the only time a superior officer was shot by an enlisted man and no charges brought. It provides an unequalled accurate picture of the Indians before they were influenced by the whites and it provides a real picture of habitat and wildlife populations and health before whites influenced them as well. So not only can one learn about the trek but one can also gain an in depth picture of what the country and people were like before whites invaded. And what I learned is that whites get blamed for a lot they did not have influence on.

So anyway, now you know I am a history buff as well.

Madam Rebecca

Greetings, everyone.

Madam Rebecca, I have enjoyed reading Undaunted Courage by Stephen E. Ambrose, and have crossed the continental divide five times myself. It is amazing what these men and Woman accomplished. Sacagawea had a very interesting effect on the men. Early in the trip when a boat was swamped it was She Who maintained Her cool and saved the day and possibly the trip. Captain Lewis was certainly a better frontiersman then a businessman. The demise of his life certainly came as a surprise to me. Not at all like 8th grade history.

I believe the Englishman's name which escaped You is Sir Ernest Shackleton of the ship Endurance. It is astonishing that he lost no men on his Antarctic expedition. Shackleton knew men must stay busy or they would falter so the daily routine was a schedule of chores in the middle of nowhere. Another good book is THE ENDURANCE by Caroline Alexander.

Thank You for allowing this submissive to contribute. There is nothing as powerful, or sexier, than the Female mind.

With respect,


Madame Rebecca may also have meant Sir Robert Falcon Scott, who did NOT make it back from Antarctica, but died a few miles from the South Pole.

One of my personal favourites is the Royal pirate, Sir Francis Drake whose journeys and explorations are shrouded in mystery and intrigue. (Kind of the opposite of Madame Rebecca's admiration of Lewis & Clark's documentation I guess)

In a new book called "The Secret Voyages of Sir Francis Drake" (I think), there is new evidence (ie coins found in what would have been native settlements, etc.) that Drake, fleeing the Spanish, made it up the Pacific Coast as far as the North tip of Vancouver Island. It's incredible to imagine he may have been the first European up in the Pacific NW (by quite a bit -- next I believe was Cook, in 1774) and not got any credit for it.

Oh to go back in time and be a sissy Maiden on an exploring ship ;)


Dear Madam Rebecca,

I'm aware that I was off-topic and I thank You for being tolerant. I promise this will be the last off-topic letter, unless I'm responding to specific questions.

Might I recommend to You the Folio Society? They produce high-quality hard-backed books in slip cases and a fair proportion of their publications is history books. For example, I have single-civilization texts covering the Egyptians, Hittites, Persians, Babylonians, Incas, Aztecs, Maya, Vikings, Normans and Celts as well as accounts of exploration from the likes of Captain Cook, Richard Burton and Lewis and Clark. I had a suspicion my Lewis and Clark was abridged, but they've also just published the unexpurgated version of Pepys' Diary.

If You like history You'll love Britain. It's hard to throw a rock without hitting something historic. For example, the company for which I work has an American Chief Executive and one of the first things he said was, "This Company is older than my country." I sometimes pass lorries from the Shore Porters Society, based in Aberdeen and founded in the thirteenth century. North East England isn't considered a heritage hot-spot, but there are two world heritage sites; Hadrian's Wall and the Durham castle and cathedral site, which rivals the Alhambra in Grenada. There are numerous amazing castles and historic houses, including Alnwick castle, which was the setting for the original Harry Potter movie, not to mention that town dear to the hearts of all Americans and the ancestral home of the original George W, Washington CD (County Durham).

I'm as proud as the next sissy of the area in which I live but, just to show I can curb my prejudices, the same could be said of much of Europe. Italy's wonderful and my Wife and I spent a week exploring Valleta in Malta and that's tiny!

Thank You for Your understanding and my next letter will be very much on-topic.



Dear members,

Actually it was Shackleton.

First, First Maid Angela Brown has a very good story about a captain’s boy who becomes a sissy.

Madam Rebecca

Dear Nancy,

History is relevant in our topic as well, because it is through the history of petticoat punishment, first used in England, that I first became interested in training males. Travelling the world offers one a much better perspective of life and understanding of why others think or feel the way they do.

For example, I was always impressed with the beautiful artefacts that belonged to the royals displayed in American museums in the US, but having travelled to Germany and seen some of the real things, there is no comparison. People who never leave home have a clouded view of history, people and how life is. What may be considered un-masculine here is not there, which teaches one that it is a perceived idea and not one with any substance. Therefore there is nothing inherently wrong with putting a male in a Maid’s uniform and treating him as a servant even if he is Your husband.

Madam Rebecca

Dear Madam Rebecca,

For what it's worth, I agree. I think an appropriate quote is, "The past is a foreign country." I'm appending an extract from another, longer letter I posted yesterday, which might be relevant, too.



Recently, I've also been considering some parallels I can see between sissiness and medieval courtly love. Let me explain. In the Arthurian Romances of Chrétien de Troyes, he writes of Sir Lancelot, who is required to ride in a cart - which, apparently, was a great and public humiliation - in order to save Queen Guinevere - and he wasn't allowed to explain himself. Later, he captures a Maiden but is unable to have sex with Her, as he is sworn to the Queen. The story seems contrived to modern eyes, but, then again, the average enforced Feminization story is nothing if not contrived and even the true stories of the likes of you [Sissie] and Auburn would be widely disbelieved in the vanilla world, I'd warrant. I've also read a review of an Arthurian romance where a knight stands with downcast eyes while the Lady undresses, safe in the knowledge he wouldn't dare look.

Although this is not sissification, there is a clear theme of Female Domination and male submission to a Female in the midst of rip-roaring tales of traditional manliness and feats of arms.

It seems to me that courtly love has some similarities with a Mistress/submissive male relationship. In both cases there is no possibility of marriage or even sex between the Female and male. The Lady is often married to someone else and She may have several champions, or submissives, vying for Her favours. Obviously, your situation presents a variation on that. Eventually courtly love was banned by the Church as it was felt it represented a real threat to marriage.

20050305 Maids' Nightmare

508 Maids’ Nightmare

Dear sissies,

Maids' Nightmare

So you think you keep your Mistress's house spick and span?

Your Mistress inspects your work wearing white gloves, so you think you could pass any inspection?

Think again.

I've just heard an item on BBC's Radio 4 that will make you think you're a novice (as opposed to me: I know I'm a novice).

Follow this link:

You'll need to fast forward about nineteen minutes in total to get to the particular item. Listen and weep!

And if anyone's Mistress gets any fresh ideas, I apologise.



Dear Madam Rebecca, Mistresses and sissies,

Go in 23 minutes... not 19 minutes (19:23)

Beth :)

Dear Beth,

Sorry about that, but what did you think? Talk about Big Brother...



[I heard an item on the BBC Radio 4 programme “From Our Own Correspondent” in which a Reporter was selling Her Swiss apartment. The local authority sent round an inspector to ensure that the property was fit for sale. The inspection found numerous faults, such as fingerprints on the stainless steel flue in the basement, and revealed that She hadn't disconnected the water supply, removed the taps and polished inside the water pipes!]

Monday, 4 May 2009

Nancy 20050225

491 Nancy 20050225

Dear Madam Rebecca, Mistresses and sissies,


Madam dropped off some more clothes that no longer fit Her for my Wife to try. She also returned my yellow party dress, which She has repaired, and She's made up my first leotard from the black material with sparkling gold cross-hatching. It looks quite dressy and Christmassy. I won't be able to wear it in public at this stage of my development, though, as it's too obviously Feminine. I'll have to see what the navy blue Lycra and purple velvet look like. We've decided the zip needs to be removed from the back to get a better fit and She's told me to get some gold or black ribbon so She can take out a two inch section from the middle to shorten it a little - it sags a bit in the crotch!

I wore it all evening with a pair of lacy white cotton panties and my navy slacks. The house is now covered in gold glitter!


Despite getting washed and shaved, the first thing that was said to me today at work was, "Why have you got glitter on your face?"


I said my Wife had been wearing a new glittering top. Sorry and I stand ready to receive any punishment You might think this merits.


See 23.02.2005!

My Wife took a bath this evening and I got in when She got out. I bemoaned the fact that my legs were getting hairy again and were no longer smooth.

"They were never smooth: that's the whole point!" She said.

"Maybe I'll have to try waxing them again."

"You've never waxed them."

"Okay, but I did sugar them before we went to Italy in 2003."

"You'll have to find a Beautician Who's willing to do it where you work and go after work."

"And You don't mind?"

"I'll put up with it. Mind, I don't know how you'll pay for it because it'll cost you a fortune and you only get £10 a month pocket money!"

Yippee and much wailing and gnashing of teeth!

I think I'll file away this conversation with one we had recently when I had collected Mistress from Madam's after work one evening. We drive past some lovely old detached houses. They're very large but we've daydreamed for years about owning one. Two are for sale at the moment. At about £500,000, they're way out of our league, but I said to Mistress that, if we had a large football pools or lottery win, we'd sell our house and buy one with Madam. I'd give up work and be Their Maid. Madam likes to work and Mistress would work part-time for the social aspects. I'd like to go to the local college and study beauty therapy and secretarial skills. We also talked about replacing the car and Mistress said She'd like a pink Honda Jazz. I agreed.

To my surprise, Mistress seemed to like the daydream and was still in agreement when I reminded Her of it a few days later. Wish us luck!

Deep down, I think I'm an introvert. I have to be extrovert in my job, but if someone else is prepared to be dominant in a social context and is doing a good job of leadership or if I have nothing to say, I'm quite able to fade into the background, to the surprise of those who think they know me, as well as mine, to be honest. I've come to think of the extrovert me as just a mask I wear, along with the rest of my male persona. I'm not a real sissy yet, but I do think I'm already more comfortable with my sissy self.


I collected some books from the Post Office. My last hurrah before I gave up my money was to buy two books: "Panties: a brief history" and "Bra: a thousand years of style, support and seduction." I'll let you know more when I've read them.

There'll not be much to tell this weekend as Mistress has requested I dress-up as a male. However, I did mention the daydream again and She didn't object in the least. Indeed, She's quite taken with the idea of a pink car.

Oh, I nearly forgot. I've asked Mistress and Madam what they thought about my name. They're not in favour of it. Madam prefers Caroline, but Mistress has given me some of Her handkerchiefs with Her first initial embroidered on and She says I must adopt that. She's chosen Nancy for me, so that's how I'll be signing myself in future. It is a name I considered before choosing Cissy Pansy.



Nancy 20050219

480 Cissy Pansy 19.02.2005


Dear Madam Rebecca, Mistresses and sissies,

I've had a wonderful time!


We arose early as I had an appointment with the optician. I dressed in my silk lingerie, panty girdle, opaque black hold-up stockings, navy slacks and navy low heels. I didn't have a blouse in which I could pass, so Mistress lent me one of Hers. It had even blue and white stripes with a plain white collar and white cuffs. The sleeves were a little short (they're short on Mistress, too), so She showed me how to wear them unfastened and turned back.

After the eye test (better than 20:20 vision, much to Mistress's annoyance), we went to a dance wear shop and bought more material for leotards. I chose navy blue lycra and purple stretch velvet. The Shopkeeper said, "Is it for You?" addressing my Wife. The best I felt able to say was, "Yes, it is." Strictly, She'd left the question's subject open and I answered truthfully. Perhaps I'll be able to be more forthcoming next time.

We returned home and cooked breakfast. I changed my low heels for my flats and Mistress said I could wear them in Winter as shoes, too (as opposed to sandals in Summer) if I wore opaque stockings.

I went to Madam's to collect Her after work and bring Her to ours for a tea party. While I was waiting, I washed and dried Her dishes and tried to give things a quick wipe over. To my horror, I found that whereas our house is basically clean but often untidy, Madam's is tidy but not clean. Her kitchen was thick with grease!

Seconds later I received a phone call from Mistress. Madam had driven straight to ours from work so She could have Her car as an escape route if She wanted one. I had an idea. Madam has every other weekend off and I suggested to Mistress that They both go to see Their Mother, Who lives nearly 200 miles away, in a fortnight's time, leaving me behind to do housework. This means I'll be able to start early (Mistress is a late riser) and work longer as I won't be worried about Madam coming back and trying to help. I'll also be able to do some of the longer jobs I want to do at home, too.

I returned home and put on my yellow party dress. I took off my panty girdle and replaced it with the lace-ruffled panties which matched the dress. Madam commented that it fitted me much better than my Maid's dress.

For just the second time, I was allowed to wear make-up. Mistress made up my face, though I made a hash of the eyeliner, though I did better with the lip liner and mascara. Mistress also sorted out my wig then painted my fingernails bright red. Madam was amazed at my transformation. She said from a few feet my face was completely Feminine and She'd never know from my face that I was a male, although I lacked a Feminine figure. I felt wonderful. I've added some more photographs to my album in ThHW4. Mistress and I think I'm unrecognisable.

Madam looked great, too. She's lost a lot of weight and was using the meal as an excuse to try a new little black dress in a safe environment. Unfortunately, Her hair is grey and won't take colour or She'd lose at least ten years (She's 53).

Mistress and Madam cooked the meal. As I was wearing my party dress, my only duty was to set the table (but I made up for this by preparing an equally nice meal on my own the next night). Mistress wanted to try moussaka and it took ages to make (about two hours of preparation, never mind cooking), but it was delicious. I got away with only three disasters: concealer and foundation on the frill at my neck; lily pollen from Mistress's St Valentine's Day bouquet (be warned, sissies, that stuff can stain so easily) which I was able to brush out straight away; and, at the end of the evening when Mistress untied my sash and unzipped my dress so I could undress myself, I stood on the ribbon when climbing the stairs and tore a hole in my dress, but Madam says it will be easy to repair.

During the meal, I set Madam's place at the head of the table. She said, "Surely you should be sat at the head of the table?" but then corrected Herself, "But then again, you're no longer the man of the house, are you?" She wanted to know why I called my Wife Mistress, but She only got Madam. "I hope you don't think I'm a 'madam'!" I explained it was meant with the greatest respect and as a means of differentiating Her from Mistress then Mistress and I said together, "Besides, You're not his/my Mistress: I/She am/is!"

I knelt in front of Them and thanked Them for the meal, Their tolerance and Their understanding. Madam said it was all quite normal until I drew attention to the fact that I wasn't really a Girl and Mistress agreed.

Mistress mentioned that I do a lot of cooking, though it's often a team effort, but I don't make a big song and dance about it. Madam said many males cook, but then expect it to be the main topic of conversation for days. I said I found that very strange. I find a simple thank you to be more than sufficient.

It was a good evening. Mistress and I slept on a sofa-bed in the spare bedroom and we fulfilled one of Madam's fantasies: to sleep in a four-poster bed. If I'd known, She could have done that years ago!


Cissy Pansy


Thanks for your journals. I always look forward to them!

--an inferior male

Nancy 20050218

478  Cissy Pansy 18.02.2005


Dear Madam Rebecca, Mistresses, Cindy and sissies,


I spent the day dressed as a male again, but I did manage to finally finish the filing and bring up to date my posts.

We went out to our favourite restaurant to celebrate St Valentine's Day and enjoyed a lovely meal. We talked about my sissiness again and Mistress again expressed Her concern that She was losing Her husband. I reassured Her that the male me was still there. I suggested a compromise. We both get enormous enjoyment from our current sex life, in which I am a little dominant, but strictly within Her limits, so I suggested this continue unchanged, but She become more dominant in other areas of our lives.

Occasionally in the past, Mistress has tried to be dominant in bed, after we'd started to make love after our normal fashion. Initially this was okay, but the angle of penetration of my little wiggle into Mistress isn't quite right and I can't climax with Her on top. As She likes me to come either at the same time or just after Her (simultaneously is wild, but just after lets Her complete Her climax with a stiff little wiggle still inside Her), She'd end up working very hard and delaying Her own orgasm too long. Then we'd have to change position anyway so I could cum, but She'd be unable to.

Alternatively, years after we got together, Mistress sometimes started to stroke my little wiggle as part of foreplay. (For the first years She was too shy!) Whilst I enjoyed this enormously, soon my stiff little wiggle would go all soft and there'd be nothing we could do.

Eventually this behaviour transferred to when She went on top, so now we stick to Her being a little submissive. However, we haven't tried the alternative since I was prescribed Viagra. I no longer need it, mostly because I have access to it if I do need it, but it does keep my little wiggle all stiff and I can regain my stiffness within minutes of my orgasm. I suggested Mistress might like to try sexual assertiveness again when I'd taken a little blue pill.

Mistress was still menstruating, so I tried my Aneros again that night. I've written about that in another letter.


After breakfast I removed the nail varnish from one of Mistress's hands and then re-coated those nails. Mistress then painted my fingernails with clear varnish. Her technique was much more assured than mine.

I had an appointment with the Hairdresser. Mistress had said She'd accompany me, but She wasn't ready in time so I walked on ahead (it's only about 100 yards). I was wearing my silk lingerie, black stockings, Madam's old grey suit, a short-sleeved blue blouse and my new low heels. As I was on my own, I lacked the courage to remove my jacket at the Hairdresser's. She thought I was wearing a work suit.

When I was done, Mistress and I wandered around town a little then returned home. Mistress bought me a lipstick and some Vaseline for my lips: the Lipsalve just isn't improving them. The Vaseline seems to work a treat, though. I took off the suit and borrowed one of Mistress's skirts. It was straight and a great aid in helping me keep my knees together! However, I'm beginning to understand the problems Ladies have with sizes. The skirt was UK size 20 from Bon Marché and was a little too small, whereas my size 18 miniskirt from Dorothy Perkins is getting a little large!

Mistress painted my toenails bright red. She told me I was honoured as She hates feet.

That evening, we watched 'Why Do Men Wear Frocks?' Of course, our video recorder chewed the tape! I've written about the programme in another letter.

I tried my Aneros again before sleeping.


I wore my silk lingerie and black stockings with the blue blouse and navy slacks. As soon as I pulled on the slacks I took them off and put on a panty-girdle, too. VPL! (Visible Penis Line).

We did the week's shopping a day early and we were able to go much earlier, as we're on holiday, so there were far more people about. It was quite nerve-wracking for a bit.

Late that night, Mistress opened a new bank account on-line in Her sole name. She named it His Pocket Money. Each month I have to transfer all my spare wages into this account, leaving only enough for the household bills. She'll then pay me an allowance. I now have no money. Next week I'll collect the forms to make my sole account a joint account (it is a condition of my employment that my wages be paid into an account with my name on it, so I can neither re-direct the money to my Wife's account nor remove my name from my account).


Cissy Pansy